One night a man got home from work, as his wife served him his dinner, he held her hand and said “I’ve got something to tell you”.
“I want a divorce” he said.
She didn’t seemed annoyed and calmy she asked “Why?”
Because he avoided her question and could not give her an answer she shouted “you are not a man”.
That night none of them said a word to each other and his wife lay in bed weeping wondering why it all went wrong.
He didn’t love her anymore, he just pitied her. She lost his heart to Jane. He felt guilty but he filed for a divorce. He was kind and gave her the house, the car, and 30% of his company.
But she tore it to pieces.They were strangers. He felt bad but he knew it was the right thing to do because he loved Jane.
It proved too much for her and she cried loudly. And he was thankful he thought that this was the beginning of her accepting that it was over.
The next day he came home late and found her writing something on the table. he didn’t say a word he went straight to bed and fell straight to sleep because he was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When he woke she was still there, writing. But he did not care.
In the morning she presented him with her divorce conditions. She didn’t want anything. Just a month’s notice before the .........
She asked that in this month they live a normal life, their son had his exams in a months time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with a broken marriage.
He agreed.
She had one more condition, that he recall how he carried her out of the bridal room on their wedding day. She requested that everyday for the next month he would carry her out of the bedroom to the front door. Every morning. He thought it was strange but he agreed.
Jane thought the conditions were absurd “she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.”
They hadn’t had any body contact since the divorced was explicitly expressed. He looked clumsy carrying her but their son clapped ‘Daddy is holding mommy in his arms’.
His words brought him pain, but the decision was made and it was kept a secret.
The next day they were more at ease. He realised he had not looked at her properly and up close in a long time. Her hair was graying. Their marriage had taken it’s toll on her.
He had moments where he wondered what he had done.
On the fourth day he felt some intimacy between them, he realised this was the woman who had given ten years of her life to him and had his child. As the days went by the intimacy grew.
He didn’t tell Jane of course. It became easier for him to carry her as the month slipped by. He thought perhaps he was getting stronger. But he was shocked when he realised how thin she had got. Suddenly it hit him and he thought it was because of all the pain and bitterness she was bearing. Unknowingly he reached out and touched her head.
Their son came out and said, ‘Dad, it’s time to carry mom out.’ To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.
When he lifted her, her hand surrounded his neck naturally and it felt just like their wedding day.
Her weight was bothering him. One morning he said “I didn’t notice how much intimacy we lacked” and put her down outside. He drove to the office,walked up the stairs and said to Jane, ‘Sorry I do not want a divorce anymore’.
She was astonished, she thought he had a fever. But he explained that he had not been valuing the details of his and his wife’s lives. He realised that he is supposed to hold her till death do them part. And that he did still love her.
Jane gave him a slap burst into tears and he never saw her again.
On his way home he bought some flowers to give to his wife, when the salesgirl asked what to write on the card he smiled and said ‘I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.’”
He arrived home full of hope and ran up the stairs only to find his beloved wife in bed – dead.
His wife had been fighting cancer for month and he was too busy with Jane to even notice.
The more he thought about it the more he realised that she wanted to keep the negativity from their son as long as possible.
At least in the eyes of his son, he was a loving husband. But he forever lives with the guilt. The small details of a relationship are what really matter. .
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy
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