Quoted from: Soccernet
Title: "Fifth official: The last look at the weekend"
Writer: The Fifth Official
Synopsis: Talking about what happened in England (BPL) over the weekend
Nicolas Anelka's expression after missing from 4 yards
"I bet you could sit him down, tell him he's won £250m on the lottery, been asked out for half a shandy by Scarlett Johansson or that his house had exploded and that sulking-mug wouldn't even offer up a flicker."
Robinho's performance, Man City 6-0 Portsmouth
"and presumably laughed until he fell over when he found out David James is currently England's number one keeper."
Mike Ashley avoiding the fans, NUFC's managerless team
"Newcastle United's team coach must have a half decent sat-nav system installed because with their management's woeful lack of direction at the minute they'd probably have ended up in Tajikistan had they organised it themselves."
Gianfranco Zola, against Newcastle
"his first game in charge of the 'Appy Ammers was against a rudderless, managerless and clueless club who are the Olympic gold medallists at implosion."
Theo Walcott's hype after hattrick against Croatia
"19-year-old was thrust into the limelight like a pushy mother forcing her goofy daughter to murder another Britney Spears song in front of a sneering reality show panel."
"articles about how good he was at school, his preferred breakfast or what his other half's favourite soap is."
"wait until he shanks a pen in the quarter-finals of the World Cup then dismantle the kid like he was a sideboard from Ikea. Then it'll be wasted talent this, WAG-obsessed that and before you know it he'll be drinking white spirit and begging outside White Hart Lane*."
Wigan's chairman praising Amir Zaki & Steve Bruce
"Now that is delusion of the highest order. Why doesn't he just go the whole hog and claim Titus Bramble has fulfilled his tag as the most promising defender of his generation?"
Tottenham Hotspurs' recent performance
"Mind you, even Calamity Bramble himself managed to shut out the Spurs and their £30m-worth of attacking talent. Now that is funny."
I lol-ed harder when I read this than how I lol-ed when I watch the replay of Lolnaldo diving and got yellowed.
LOL. I finally got off my lazy fingers and edited...
LOLnaldo. Lol.
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